Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Underworld: Evolution

The best and most entertaining movie review I have read for Underworld: Evolution, is by the Star's Geoff Pevere. He starts out with,
While I must admit I had no idea what Kate Beckinsale's character was doing in Underworld: Evolution, holy smokin' mother of mercy did I love watching her work.
And the review just got better.

Underworld: Evolution is a "check-your-brain-at-the-door" movie. This movie picks up right where the 2003 original, Underworld, ends, and pumps the action to high-gear. Beckinsale's vampire and Speedman's hybrid vampire-werewolf, must battle the father of all vampires, a few vampires and lots of werewolves. In the process, many bullets will expended, and lots of blood will be spilt and drank. In a nutshell, a certain vampire and hybrid vampire-werewolf, are on a mission of family planning for the immortal beasts, with the human race at risk. They will also engage in a little activity of their own that probably could have used some family planning as well. (Can vampires get pregnant?)

The action was hard, pounding, and non-stop. The blood flowed freely, although the human body count was actually kept down. The effects, crucial for this genre, was amazing. The werewolves were impressive, and so was super-vampire-dude with the wings. The movie was effects and action driven -- having Beckinsale and Speedman in the movie probably didn't hurt either.

Posted by Andy Dabydeen at 1/25/2006 10:48:00 PM
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1 comments:

  1. Geoff Pevere
    Beckinsale a vampire in leather
    Jan. 22, 2006. 01:00 AM
    GEOFF PEVERE
    MOVIE CRITIC



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    Underworld: Evolution



    Starring Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Tony Curran, Shane Brolly. Directed by Len Wiseman. 105 minutes. At major theatres. 18A

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    While I must admit I had no idea what Kate Beckinsale's character was doing in Underworld: Evolution, holy smokin' mother of mercy did I love watching her work.

    It was the leather. Playing Selene, a whoop-ass vampire warrior in a centuries-old rumble between bloodsuckers and werewolves, the profoundly comely (and gifted!) Beckinsale wears a form-fitting leather ensemble so optically pleasing it single-handedly made any confusion or misgivings I had about Underworld: Evolution — which is an almost incomprehensibly overplotted sequel to 2003's Underworld, a movie I now feel duty-bound to see — dissolve like so much vampire flesh at high noon on a Cuban beach.

    The fact is, prior to seeing this movie, I had wondered about the introduction of all this leather and military hardware into recent vampire movies. (After all, did Bela Lugosi need zippers, oily abs and a codpiece to menace Helen Chandler? And did he burst into the moonlit bedrooms of Victorian women sporting an assault rifle and high-powered crossbow? I think not.)

    But now I understand. The fact is that if leather is the best thing to happen to vampire movies since Technicolor blood, then Kate Beckinsale is the best thing to happen to leather since cows.

    It's possible that less sensitive readers among you may be wondering just what Kate Beckinsale's sensational performance in form-fitting black leather has to do with a responsible professional critical appraisal of Underworld: Evolution. To which I would reply: everything. It has everything to do with a responsible critical appraisal of Underworld: Evolution.

    Here's why. If one were to remove the leather outfit from Kate Beckinsale in Underworld: Evolution — which is an idea I offer only as a point of intellectual debate — there would be no reason to watch Underworld: Evolution. Actually, there would be even more reason, way, way, more reason, to watch Underworld: Evolution. So, if you'll permit me, I'll rephrase that supposition.

    If one were to remove both Kate Beckinsale and her leather outfit from Underworld: Evolution — there, that's better — there would be no reason to watch it. For not only is the appearance of Kate Beckinsale in her form-fitting, shiny-slick, hubba-hubba leather whoop-ass vampire gear the beating heart of this movie, which is otherwise given over — between scenes of incomprehensible plot exposition mouthed by British actors sporting lisp-inducing canine orthodontics — to the sight of vampires and werewolves ripping each other asunder, it's the only thing you can think about when it's on screen. Ergo, when one is addressing the issue of the impeccably engineered leather ensemble worn by the comely (but gifted!) star of Underworld: Evolution, one is in fact dealing with the movie thoroughly, responsibly and precisely on its own level.

    Besides if, like me, you're not acquainted with the deep currents of narrative backstory that Underworld: Evolution keeps washing your way in the form of electroshock flashbacks to the original Underwear — I mean Underworld — the leather ensemble renders your confusion utterly irrelevant. You may not know what's going on, but you're glued anyway.

    Just one suggestion, if I may: If there is to be yet another movie in this masterful epic account of the centuries-long conflict pitting hot-as-spit-on-a-griddle vampire chicks against werewolves, somebody ought to explain why the werewolves don't break into fits of whistling every time one of them shows up.

    The plain truth is, that just wasn't very realistic.
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