Rush Limbaugh has finally come out and admit he has no talent and a life that is horseshit, but he doesn't have the courage to do something about it and put the rest of us out of his misery.
The Onion has out done itself!
"I don't enjoy that stuff. I don't enjoy anything. I don't even want to be here. The sadness and regret I feel every waking hour of my life is absolutely unbearable. I am a miserable pig and I do not want to exist. The irony is that, even if I did die, the hell I would surely be sent to could not possibly be any worse than the bottomless pool of excrement I already paddle around in like some demented, shit-covered walrus. In fact, every time I hear my voice coming through the headphones I nearly gag, and I think, "What the fuck am I doing?" Why would I say that Michael J. Fox is faking his Parkinson's symptoms? Why would I find it funny to play a song called "Barack the Magic Negro"? Why would I tell people not to give aid to Haiti? What the fuck is wrong with me?"
- I Don't Even Want To Be Alive Anymore | The Onion - America's Finest News Source (view on Google Sidewiki)